The worst things a speaker has said at a wedding | Love Limo Melbourne /* YouTube video autoplay in the slider */ /* YouTube video autoplay in the slider */

 What NOT to say at a wedding!

These are some of the worst things that people have said at a wedding. (Curated from reddit)

Mother of the groom called the wife ‘Elizabeth’ in her speech. Elizabeth wasn’t her name. Elizabeth was the name of the groom’s best friend who happened to be an attractive woman. More attractive than the wife. Elizabeth, is who the mother, wanted her son to marry. Elizabeth was there, too.

My mom. She wanted me to marry another girl that was my best friend growing up. She isn’t prettier than my wife but either way, there’s a reason we never dated mom, get over it.

To clarify, didn’t say at wedding in speech only at rehearsal dinner that she thought I would marry said friend…in front of my bride.

I was just best man at my brother’s wedding and opened with “I was really nervous for this speech, so I prepared a few lines, having done those lines, I’m feeling a lot more confident”

The only thing the best man said was “Well, we’re all here today for one reason, a good woman died. May she Rest in Peace.” About the grooms late (first) wife, who passed away over 10 years ago.

Best man waddles up to podium, visibly too drunk. He opens his folder with his speech in it. Opens his mouth to say his first words and projectile vomits directly over the podium. He says into the mic, “Whoops that’s not what I meant to say.” Groomsmen drag him off and away.

Best man speech: “Back in high school when Bill first told me he liked Jackie I said Jackie!? Ewww! But that’s how I knew Bill really liked her for who she was as a person.” …. Jackie was not very attractive.

I was at a wedding where the grooms grandfather gave a speech. He stepped up to the mic and said, “(Groom), I hope you made the right choice.” Then just walked off. Old people waste no time speaking their feelings. Everyone cracked up. The Bride was cool about it.

The “worst” one I was at was the grooms brother saying basically this but, in a story, telling format.

The bride was (and still is) an awful person, and he rushed into an engagement with her. When he told his dad and brother they were upset because they hadn’t been together long and because she was terrible, so they kept asking if he was sure and thought he was making a mistake.

Anyway, for the brother’s speech he recounted the moment they were told about the engagement (but leaving the reasons why they were worried a bit vague, he turned that into a joke at the groom’s expense) and everyone sat bug-eyed because we all hated her and here was his brother saying exactly what we’d been thinking since they got engaged. He finally closes with the bit about how the groom’s gotta be sure “about this” because divorce is lengthy and expensive.

The best man at my wedding went to the mic, said “I’m not a speech guy. Congrats, love you both.” Sat down. It was awesome.

I was part of the catering crew at a wedding. The ceremony was on the beach and the reception was in the resort. When the bride and groom came in the entire wait staff kind of dropped their jaws because these kids couldn’t have been more than like 18-20 years old. Everyone was super young. When the father of the bride made his speech, he went on and on about how his daughter always gets what she wants. She had this wedding at the beach and they were going to have a second wedding back home in Texas. Then he goes on to describe every extracurricular activity she ever did and quit. “Cheerleader for 6 months, then she took up dancing for a few weeks. She got really into sewing for a while but quit when she joined Girl Scouts, which she left to chase her dream of being a dog walker…”

Basically, his whole speech was calling her a spoiled brat who doesn’t stick with anything. So, the groom probably felt awesome about that.

I wasn’t there to see it, but a buddy of mine told me about a bad one he witnessed his cousin give. Basically, best man got all flustered/froze up, didn’t know what to say, etc., and he ended up congratulating my friend (who was not the groom, mind you) on being accepted into the University of Michigan.

Maid of honour giving her speech. “We have so many great memories together. One of my favorite was when you taught me about the jets in the hot tub.” Dead silence.

Was at a friend’s wedding, one of my friends stands up to make a speech and it was pretty good until the last sentence when he said “who knows this could’ve been my wedding if I didn’t mess things up with her” everyone was silent.

Basically, his whole speech was calling her a spoiled brat who doesn’t stick with anything. So, the groom probably felt awesome about that.

My brother-in-law’s dad gave a toast where he went on and on about how his son had flunked out of college because he couldn’t get his shit together and was pretty much a loser until he met my sister.

Like, it’s great that you’re happy my sister came into his life, but don’t tell a room full of people that you think your son is a loser. Not cool, man.

We all know she’s been down this road before” from the bride’s brother at her second wedding.

My dad made a speech at my brother’s wedding saying that if my brother didn’t get to her first he would have married her. It was so awkward and so inappropriate.

“Well this wedding was nice and all, but I’m sure all the married couples here know it’s not a real marriage until you start having children!” The bride was infertile.

The groom was giving his speech, talking about the bride’s father and how her father used to threaten to kill him with a shovel, he then proceeds to lift a gift-wrapped shovel, and say ‘so I bought you this as my gift to you’ cue and angry voice from the family table yelling f you! I’ll kill you!’

I can’t say if the father was being serious or not as I wasn’t sat near their table, he sounded serious, although it may have been pre-planned. Yes, they are still together, and they are both very happy.

I didn’t witness it myself, but my father told me a story once of when he was at a wedding. The groom decided half way through the ceremony that he didn’t want to get married. He was then attacked by the father and brother of the bride. After a brawl (and a few bloody noses) he changed his mind and they got married.

Two things at my wedding:

  1. Very ancient priest got my name and the name of my husband spectacularly wrong. He used the male version of my name (Think Christian instead of Christine), and called my husband by a shortened version of a wrong but similar name (Think Jeff instead of George). So instead of George and Christine it was Jeff and Christian.
  2. My Dad gave his Father of the Bride speech early (no big deal), then got totally wasted. Emcee didn’t catch on and made a huge deal calling him up to give the speech a few hours later (when it was supposed to happen in the program). The speech he already gave. My poor, drunk Dad gets handed a microphone and stares at 200 expectant people. My in-laws are super religious teetotallers. He just slurs “Well… I think we already did this. Love ya kid.” And runs off the dance floor.

The groom was giving his speech, talking about the bride’s father and how her father used to threaten to kill him with a shovel, he then proceeds to lift a gift-wrapped shovel, and say ‘so I bought you this as my gift to you’ cue and angry voice from the family table yelling f you! I’ll kill you!’

I can’t say if the father was being serious or not as I wasn’t sat near their table, he sounded serious, although it may have been pre-planned. Yes, they are still together, and they are both very happy.

My aunt thought that the best time to announce her cancer diagnosis was 5 minutes before the first dance of my wedding.

A groomsman got drunk and went up to give a speech and wished my husband and I am happy birthday.

My best man, my brother, had a LOT of Simpson’s quotes in his speech. No one else got them, but I thought it was great.

Someone got up in the middle of the ceremony and asked everyone for prayers, because the bride’s sister was suffering from infertility.  She was sitting right there, though I’m sure she wanted to bury herself.

“I’d like to take this time to welcome the bride into our family. I’ve been told you have a clean bill of health so let’s hope the third time’s the charm.” I said that at my father’s 3rd wedding. He’s a two-time widower.

Best man at a friend’s wedding opened with “Ladies & gents, I am not a humble man.” Went on to plug his web show and talk only about himself, so I guess he was right about that.

At a buddy’s wedding, maid of honour (bride’s sister) accidentally let it slip in her speech that the bride was the one who told her that Santa wasn’t real. Probably 30-40 kids in the crowd. She quickly tried to take it back, but the damage was done for any of the children that were paying attention.

My buddy’s best man distributed pictures of my buddy stark naked in a fountain in Spain, while telling the story about it and about how my buddy was subsequently arrested. My buddy’s wife’s extremely conservative family was not impressed.

“Webster’s dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.” But seriously, I was at a wedding where the Best Man was crying through the whole speech, and just kept saying “My dad always said…”

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